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Thursday, August 20, 2015

Is it easier to leave or to be left behind?

Even if in Florence is going on a very hot summer, I can’t stop creating something, as you can imagine it very well because you know me being here reading my nice words. Obviously this kind of whether push me out of my house and so how can I continue writing? Anyway I made "the miracle" and here I am. Keep reading and you will understand also how all of you are so important for my inspiration. 
Some cowards men break up with their girlfriends just with a message 
Yesterday evening I decided to start using my tablet, and with it, I went to sit down outside in a nice cafe’, trying to develop some of my cool ideas, waiting for a meeting with one of my reader that I should have had later.

Well yes, I never wanted to buy but now I have a tablet too, maybe I am getting too much technological! What do you think about my dear readers?
Actually I am often out in those hot nights, so with all of my enthusiasm I found a different spot and I sat down ordering a glass of fresh white wine. The fact is that when I asked for the wi-fi the waiters just told me that it was out of working for several days. I thought: “Is it still possible that nowadays?” I had also my answer: “Everything is possible in Italy, or I guess everything is possible with Luciano”.
If you arrive to scream to each other is not a good sign  
You can picture my situation, I already had my glass of wine, my tablet ready and I wasn't able to write anything! Anyway I began thinking and having some sort of inspiration. Nothing of defined yet, I was just thinking to write some articles about relationship between man and woman, just that. Suddenly I received a message from the person whose I should meet, actually she is of one of my reader who was in Florence attracted by art and food (something good about Italy beside me). I know that we were going to meet later in the evening but she texted me if we could meet before because she needed some helps. For me was ok because at the end I could not write, so I stand up and I went to meet her.
Escape is not the best solution
So I discovered that the famous help she needed was just some indication where buy stamps and how send cards to her family and friends in their country. I was pleased to help, specially because she is one of my “fan”. I can't deny an help to my readers, at the end I write for them! 
After having resolved that we had a cappucino together and of course a nice chatting about everything (as you know is not difficult for me). Suddenly we started talking about feelings and she told me about her past "love stories". I was curious to ask why they finished. It was at that time while she was speaking to me when I had a flash materialized into my mind with this question: Is it easier to leave or to be left behind?
My nice reader is counting how many cards she needs to send
I mean, it is not a challenge of course, I know stories are different like people and so on, but I think I can make a concept about that. I bet that to everybody happened to leave somebody, as I guess everybody has been left by someonelse.
I know that when a story ends no matter who has more guilt because both sides are suffering, but I guess differently: this is also the point. The end of a serious relationship is in fact for both the failure of a project of life together, a feeling that it was hoped would last forever. But what position is most uncomfortable?
It is clear that when it comes to flirting unseriously it is pretty obvious that for both it is not a tragedy. Instead of the situation becomes complicated when there are true feelings.
You can't leave behind your heart
With my knowledge I arrive to say that both cases have good and bad side. The bad side of being left is that you suffer more because you still feel something for the other person and so for you could be difficult accept this rejection. The good side is that at least you can have someone to blame for this decision.
Instead of when you leave someone, I guess is considered an easier situation, but I have found also a bad side I that. What I am talking about is that obviously when you leave someone your heart is perhaps less hurted because there is no trace of love in you anymore but if you are a normal human you should have a displeasure of being the cause of pain for the person you loved and whose loved you. In this case you made the choice and so you have to take your responsibility for that. Perhaps tomorrow you will realize that it was a wrong decision and you would like to have back that person, but it may be already too late, even if I am sure sometimes we can "put together the pieces", but this would be another article.
So my dear readers, even if most of the people think that it is easier to leave than to be left I am not too sure about that. I guess people think that leave is easier just because they take this choice with superficiality.
I don’t want to do a survey but I really would like to know your opinions my dear readers, what do you think about this topic?
My last though here is that I think "Omnia Vincit Amor" but I guess this must be from both sides. This is the fact. 

9 comments:

  1. Luciano, you forgot few other "separation" possibilities is just stop taling,texting, pay attention. You don't separate oficially, you don't cry or argue, you don't leave anyone and noone leaves you. But you mayb lose person that younknow, friend as you had, but very suddenly both of you may find partners. You can chat in facebook, in skype but when you would offer to meet up there gonna be thousand excuses not to meet up, like that you lose person but help to each other be happy.

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    1. Hello Justina, nice to see you again! Thank you for your contribution!
      I didn't forget anything because in this article I didn't mean to collect all types of separations, as it seems to me it is what you have thought. Everything start from a linguistic paradox that is in the title, from there I have developed this interesting concept.
      Anyhow I know that there are many different situations, for example just choosing one of yours, I can say that I am sure even when two persons just stop to communicate must be some reasons, and so which? One person should have some reasons and the other obviously other reasons, but they can't be exactly the same, maybe sometimes can happens but not so frequently. It is more common in a affair that somebody want something more or less than the other person.
      I know that it happens often but I have never understood this type of "contemporary behave". I am talking about the fact that nowadays is so easy to know people and to get acquaintances, but it is more difficult to make real friends. You can know thousands of people, when you go out or in internet, but then often those encounters don't continue. And why? I don't think by chance! This is what I am discovering here! I don't care about statistics or how many ways there are to break up; those things are good for stupid magazines; I care to understand why this phenomenon can happen; this can be concretely useful for many people out there.
      Then Justina you talk about the fact that someone whose you have known through internet, then when arrive the time for a real meeting they disappeared. This has not much to do with my concept here but just because you have mentioned I want to say my opinion. My opinion is that often those people are just interested in wasting their time; because they should be very happy to meet a person with whom they have been in contact for so long. The problem is that there are many people who communicate "at distance" and also "at near", but they do that not just with one person, how they are supposed to do; They communicate at the same times with many people and it happens that at the end they just choose one of the group. I guess this weird behave could have something to do with opportunism and so on. For sure it is a childish and immature behaviour.
      Thank you again Justina for your comment and your hints and I wish you to have good time in vacation!

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  2. Luciano, I wasn't talking about case when you met person in net and then when have to meet up i real life suddenly person disappears. We are always affraid of something, what is unkown for us, or we know how the relationship gonna finish cause so many times have happened the same story. Another think which become common nowadays we become more and more independent, and we don't care too much about other people we are more selfish, and we want to get something for us but we don't want to give smth for exchange. If you always the person who is trying to give smth in relationship, of you are that romantic person who makes surprises, you want to get a surprise too cause we want to give but we want to get also. It seems with technologies it ishould be everything easier. You can text or call for a person who you like, or you love, to your partner or bf/gf but we aren't doing this too much, too often. We are too busy, or we call/ text when we need smth, yeah we all what smth but also we don't know always what. We live the life but not sure it' the right way, we try so many times, but too often it seems as it's the same, we do mistakes but too often we don't learn from them. Or we may start to avoind of doing mistakes, we want to avoid relationship, we start doing the things just those which we need, we hide our feelings or we show them but never know are they real or not.
    Hope to see you soon!

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    1. I see but altogether you talk about really many topics; anyway I like your melting pot!
      If someone lives a life without knowing what wants I guess they should fast change something. "The change is the right key" sometimes; soon a new beautiful post about that.
      In any case I am sure, summarizing your argument, the right answer could be that nowadays with all the possibilities that there are, people are more confused even if they don't want to admit, or at least more distracted, and so for them become more difficult to find the famous completeness they are looking for, just into one person. I think this is one of the bigger mistakes whose people are making recently. They think thay can do everything but the reality is that they are just stunned by the noise of our contemporary society. The paradox is that is better to have less choices sometimes, because when you have many you can't handle them and you became crazy. You need strong values too, if not the temptation to break up with someone at first little argument is really effective.
      I think if you are not happy with somebody you should move on but at first you must be able to recognize if can be somebody who can make you happy, or is more something about you. If people could be able to resolve this question I am sure that there would more understanding between couples.
      Or maybe, as I was saying it is just that people don't believe anymore in some types of values like the "traditional family" and cause of that they don't have the right motivation. If you don't believe strongly in something you have no reason to put your effort, and obviously to be together for long time it is necessary that.
      However I think that it is more important to understand that everything start from ourselves. I am sure that you can meet also the Love of your Life but if you are not ready (I should write what means not being ready but is very long) I know that you will reject him, it would be like if you had not even seen him. On the other side if you don't feel completely happy you don't have also to satisfy yourself just with someone.
      Thank you again Justina for your hints and update me about your trip in Italy then!

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  3. Hi Luciano! Nice you share simple things of your life, its getting your blog more warm. I am pleased you interesting my opinion. But what can I say here? You sayed all comeplitely. I am sure that both people must be responsible for their relations, and I dont belive that only one guilty when they parted. What is more hard to feel, to be left or vise versa... I think depends on situation, I think more suffer will feel person, who`s ego more toched. I like this conversation with nice lady above, cos you affected important topics, I mean relations and social networks, hiding feelings and selfish. So wating for new article. Ciao

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    1. Hello Katerina, I am always interested in your opinions and in all opinions of my readers.
      Not just this article but all my articles are complete, beside topics, concepts and if they can be more or less interesting for someone.They are just complete as I have conceived them. So you are right in that. Anyhow each of my articles are like a creation, they are like babies, also a baby is complete but needs to grow up and this can be possible thanks to other people too. So Katerina what I am trying to say is that beside how is my writing it is always interesting for me being inspired by all of you. For me it is a necessity!
      About what you say in merit of the topic of this post I can say that I agree with you. Anyway if in a relationship we have to talk about ego, I think that we are in a wrong path. Beside the fact that ego is an abused concept at these days, but in a relationship we shouldn't talk about ego, I don't think that ego and Love can stay together good. It is also for this reason that a relationship ends. So I guess it is not a problem of ego but of whom of the couple has still some love left inside. Tell me what do you think about.
      Thank you again for your comment and rember that nothing is boring. (You know why I tell you this). Ciao!

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    2. Hi Luci! Thanx for answer. I understand you why you say about love and ego is wrong way. You are person with very high standards in all spheres of your life, so in love I am sure also, and l feel your romantic soul. I guess you imagine love between people how something unconditional and really pure, where no ego. And its great for you, everybody must aspires to this. And with this who really able for such love now? Maybe Holy people.

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    3. So nice comment that I don't want to add anything!)))

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    4. the same I told about your article)))

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